Go easy on yourself when you do a GOOD job

If you’re like me, when you do a good job, it’s hard to take the credit, especially from yourself. In reality, it’s really important to take the win.

Recently I’ve had a lot of transition in my life, including a big move. I know that whenever there are shifts occurring in my world, that once they pass I will feel refreshed.

However, in the midst, it can feel like one heck of an upheaval to the point of complete chaos.

For someone with PTSD, this is a little like betting it all and rolling the dice.

However, with some new tools under my belt, including an awareness of how change affects me, I stayed centered, rolled with the flow, and accepted when things didn’t go as planned.

In fact, I thought I handled it pretty well considering everything that was happening all at once.

Then I hit a tipping point.

I started to feel overwhelmed and overdone. Things were piling up, I felt behind, and it seemed like I was stuck in repeat mode. Get up, try to get ahead, accept what can’t be done, go to bed.

I was just going through the motions, I felt numb, and I felt like I had lost control and lost my sense of self. Then I realized that I’d focused so hard on “going with the flow” and not letting things bother me that I almost wasn’t feeling anything at all.

The “ah well, I’ll get to it” became “ah well, I just won’t feel.” Not good. I hadn’t been just rolling with it all, I was in survival mode.

At the moment that I became aware of this, I said to myself, “I guess I didn’t do as good as I thought.” Then I stopped, in amazement at my own self-talk.

The Critic had come to the stage, front and center.

Does this sound familiar to you?

As soon as you give yourself a little pat on the back you start thinking about everything that you could have done better?

I realized that I needed to make a shift in myself.

If this sounds like you, here are 5 strategies I used to change my internal dialogue – I’m certain they can help you too.

• Acknowledge how far I’ve come – Even if I feel like I’m not where I want to be, and it seems like I have a long way to go, that’s okay. The fact that I was aware enough to recognize that the critic in me came out is HUGE and if I’m further than where I started, it’s progress and progress is a WIN.
• Determine the source – I look at where the response came from. Is it patterned? If so, I want to recognize and understand it. Once I can see the pattern, it puts me in control of the outcome.
• Be real – I ask myself if the expectation I had was realistic. If it wasn’t, then I either set myself up to fail or it’s something that was completely out of my control.
• Manage my internal Board Room – I have all sorts of “glasses” that I look through when I’m looking at a situation. Each and every one of those viewpoints are valuable, but sometimes, it’s best to put certain views to the side and let others shine through – like SUPPORT.
• Hold what I did well in my focus – Once I’ve determined the pattern, continuing to go through the laundry list of what I could have done better isn’t helpful. There isn’t one person that enjoys that chat. Instead, I choose to hold my focus on what I did well. It puts me in a forward moving frame of mind. When I look ahead, I see hope.

The more that I practice these strategies, the more often I find that I’m enjoying the wins rather than counting the losses.

There’s a saying that if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself. I’ve always felt that statement is a bit egotistical and isolating.

But the truth is, when you’re evaluating your own progress, no one knows how far you’ve come more than you do.

The blood, the sweat, the tears, bumps & bruises, the sit-downs you’ve had with yourself, and the times where you’ve had to literally pull yourself up “by the boot straps.”

So, when you see all of it in perspective, give yourself the credit you deserve.

Most importantly for being AWARE.